Inside George’s Head – The Heatwave

I previously introduced you to George, our gorgeous and characterful ginger cat. In my writing class this week, we started with freewriting and I wrote the foundation of this piece, more as a joke than anything serious. Anyway, I really enjoyed writing this so decided to edit and finish it. I might turn this into an occasional series.

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I don’t really like this hot weather. The humans just flop around the house, sighing and whinging in their irritating human way. It’s nice though because they open all the doors and windows and I can just trot in and out of the house as I please, although I’m not going to be jumping from the upstairs window again like I did back in March – that wasn’t my brightest moment.

In this weather, I like collapsing in the flowerbed and staying there all day. In the morning, it’s cool and dark in my favourite spot near the wall, but then that beastly, bright ball in the sky appears and it’s suddenly hot. I try and wait it out, “I was here first!” I tell the sky-ball, but it just silently glares at me and in the end I have to be the one to give way and creep away into the undergrowth so I can cool down.

The male one comes outside every few hours to see where I am. He coos at me and takes pictures of me on his talking box. I gather that he teleports them to the female one, because she is away from the den during the daytime. It’s pretty idiotic, really. I want to get him to explain himself – does he really think that the female one will have forgotten what I look like the in hours since she left?

The other reason that this hot weather is so tedious is the flies. They buzz around me relentlessly – my penance for sleeping outside, I suppose. Sometimes they find my food in the corner of the human’s food preparation room, then they crawl all over it with their nasty little feet and sometimes they even lay eggs, which hatch into horrid little crawly things. I’m wary of these, since they made me sick last summer. Cats hate being sick, in case you didn’t know, it’s too undignified.

I suppose the only good thing about this weather is that I can laugh at the cat next door. He’s got this really silly, effeminate fluffy coat and I delight in his hisses and grunts of discomfort as the heat stifles him. Plus, it’s easier to defend my territory when he can’t be bothered to move. He can’t muster the energy to chase me off as I strut alongside his human’s wheeled moving box and mince along the wall that divides our gardens.

Last week, the male human chose one of the hottest days of the year to take one of my catnip toys into the garden and make me chase it. I gave him one of my best “leave me alone” looks, but it didn’t work. In the end, I chased the toy just so that he’d go away. I like the leaves though. There’s a huge tree in the garden that sheds leaves everywhere and they dance on the grass when there is a breeze. I like to leap up and dance with them; the idiot humans mistake this for mere fun, little do they know of this important cat ritual that has been going on since they were still swinging in the treetops. Fools.

Anyway, I suppose that this hot weather won’t last, thank the sphinx! Summertime is definitely my least favorite week of the year.

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One thought on “Inside George’s Head – The Heatwave

  1. Update from George might go as follows…..
    Well, they’ve excelled themselves this time! They’ve only gone and filled the house with cardboard boxes! Far better than all that old furniture, although the female one keeps putting more things in the boxes and my choice is getting limited…hang on a minute, at least that keeps the boxes still when I jump in and out, maybe she’s doing it for Little Ol’ Me !!!! She loves me more than the male one, I know. She gathers me up and tells me how much she loves me, far far more often than she says it to HIM – he doesn’t seem to mind though, perhaps she says it to him when I’m outside? Yes, that’s probably it, she doesn’t want to hurt my feelings.
    Today the male one has been very excited – he’s been on the talky box a lot and something is definitely up – he can’t sit still, and he’s been on and on about something called The Move but no-ones told me what it is. I’ll just have to wait for the female one to come back and then I shall ask her. I think I shall sit in THIS box, oh – its full of books – but there’s just room for me…..there, that’s better. Night night….

    Like

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